Mother refuses to let her 18-year-old daugther go on a trip to Miami with her boyfriend: 'We know she's legally an adult, but she still lives at home'

Author image for Olivia Arocena
Olivia Arocena • Writer and Editor
Jul 3, 2026 9:30 PM EDT

When your baby is no longer a baby

I get it; it must be tough to realize you can't influence your child's life like you used to. I don't think at eighteen years of age you should be allowed to do anything you want, even though you're technically legally able to. Still, at some point, as a parent, you have to let go of control a little and assume your child will make their own mistakes. I think this is what this mother is struggling with: the need to control her child because she is still young and lives under her roof, and the fact that she is old enough now and she is probably living what we all lived at some point in our youth: our first love. The question is, should she step aside this time, or should she put even more boundaries in place?

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    two woman standing face to face, one of them gesturing aggressively
    via Viktor Hesse

    A mother arguing with her teenage daughter

    Subjects are models

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    AITA for telling our 18-year-old daughter she can't go on a trip to Miami with her boyfriend's family?

    My daughter is 18 and starts her dream college in a couple of months. For the past two years, she has spent almost all of her free time at her boyfriend's house. We've asked her to
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    spend more time with our family, but nothing has changed. Recently, she asked at the last minute to sleep over at a friend's house. We said no because it was so last
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    minute. She turned off her location anyway. The next night, she stayed at her boyfriend's house. At 2 a.m. she called us for a ride home, and when we arrived, his parents had just gotten home from the
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    airport and had no idea she had been staying there. The next day, we told her we wanted to have a serious conversation about trust and respect
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    before she went back to her boyfriend's house. While we were in the middle of talking, her boyfriend came to our door asking her to dinner. We said no because we were still having the
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    conversation. She left with him anyway. The following day, his parents texted us asking if she could go to Miami with them for their son's tennis
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    tournament. We later learned they had already bought her plane ticket before asking us. This isn't the first time. They previously wanted to take her on a two-day trip,
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    and when we said no because she had a dental appointment, a college orientation Zoom, and a graduation party, they told us it would really help their son emotionally because he's having a hard time
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    teenage couple smiling and holding hands
    via Randy Kinne

    The teenage daughter smiling with her boyfriend

    Subjects in the picture are models

  • I’m not a parent, but I was young once, and I remember what those first relationships felt like; they were all-consuming, 5 hours would go by unnoticed, and at that age, you are eager to be able to do as you please and not have to tell anybody where you are or when you are coming home. If I had to tell someone what I’m doing today, it really wouldn’t be that hard. My mind and my days are organized precisely because I’m a full-blown adult now, but at eighteen I couldn’t even tell you what I was going to do in the next 15 minutes. I remember my mother saying, ‘How can you possibly not know what you are doing tonight? Just call me when you know; it’s not that difficult. ’ Trust me, it was, for me; it was.

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    with her getting into her dream college (before this there was a chance they would attend the same school). At this point, we don't want her to go to Miami.
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    We feel like trust has been broken, our boundaries have been ignored by both our daughter and her boyfriend's family, and buying a plane ticket before getting our approval crossed a line.
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    We know she's legally an adult, but she still lives at home, doesn't pay rent, has access to a car and phone, and we're getting ready to foot the bill for college and we're trying to maintain some family
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    boundaries before she leaves. AITA for saying she shouldn't go?
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    white airplane flying
    via Reet Talreja

    Plane taking the daughter to Miami

    Plane in the picture is representative

  • Sadly, if the boyfriend is not outright bad for her, I think this mother will have to give up control. Her daughter got into her dream college; she wants to enjoy her summer and her new boyfriend. Parents are not supposed to be behind us in every decision we make; they’re supposed to give us the tools to make OUR OWN decisions, and I think it’s time to let this daughter do exactly that. They can step in if they think something bad is happening, but for now I think they’ll have to deal with it.

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